I think I will make a goal list

my goals

for the summer of 2010.

• 
  
  lose at least two dress sizes (preferably more!)
• 
  
  get my license (test June 1, wish me luck) cheak bitches!!! I got it the first time.
• 
  
  get a job.
• 
  
  get a car (not likely to happen)
• 
  
  get a killer tan
• 
  
  stay out of my house.
• 
  
  spend time with family =D
• 
  
  (to be continued)

sophomore year!!

sophomore year,
good bye,
so long,
glad to put you behind.
two years down,
two more to go!
I'm done with you.
you know we had our ups and downs
most up
but nevertheless still downs
I'm glad your gone.
I promise I will miss the memories you have given me.
thank you!

I miss him!

I dreamt about him last night.
yes, the terror of him.
he, not just a man,
but made me who I am.
though he was never there.
Oh how I wish that dream would come true.

I broke down today,
I cried hard.
the absence of him kills me.
the 'I love you's' I will never hear,
the hugs I will not feel,
the kissed I'll never remember.
your voice I'll never know.

how are you everywhere
but really not here at all?
your presence is with me,
the reminder is constant.
the tears won't stop!

I hurt today
I feel the hole in my heart.
will it ever get easier?
will I know?
can you answer me that?
NO...you can't
now what's left to say is.....































I MISS MY FATHER!!!!!
I wish he was here.
I dream him alive
but know him not.
I never heard your voice
I never felt your hugs,
I'll never know you.
all I know is the pain I wish I could rid away.



yeah you thought I was talking about a stupid boy.
no boy could make me hurt this bad.
I miss my dad.
May 25, 1970- December 3, 1994
Rest in Peace.

Hey people,
first I would like to thank all for taking the time to read my blog.
It's well apprciated on this end.
But if you haven't yet follwed me then what are you waiting for,
this post will still be here when you follow me I promise.

So on a more serious note all i have to say is
UGH!!!!!
I don't know why but I suddenly got amazingly aggervated so to blow off some steam I'm going to share this with you.

blah, so high school, paper due, fake friends, true friends, everyother friend, mom, step-dad, making the front page, missing my sister, losing friends, father, and last jobless.
by then end of this blog you should understand
first highschool,
well you have alot of sub titles after you.
I hate you, I wish you would burn down to the ground and completely die.
What I don't understand is that I haven't learned anything new in any of my classes since 8th grade.
WTF!?!
then I have a million and two papers due on so many things... that are already late.
then as for friends
I know who you are and I know whos fake and real.
I'm not going to say names I know better.
Some we have just drifted apart. (for various reasons.)
others we have come so close.
then there are these few that I am undecided.
It's like they are trying to make a freiendship with me
which is great don't get me wrong
but there is one that I feel is not true
and if you are reading this then it is not you I promise.
gah...can't wait until senior year.
oh thne my parents
they are the dumbest poeple I have ever met in my life.
I'm still unsure if I really came from them.
you get in a bar fight and make the front page of the local section.
way to fail at life.
next I miss my sister I never see her anymore.
she is either working, school, or brian.
last is my father,
his 40th birthday is coming up and how am I spending the day you ask?
I will be take a day of silence in remembrace for him.
oh and thnewhen I asked my mom if I could go to his grave by myself this year she got offended.
am I in the wrong I don't understand what I said to offned her.
lastly I need a job to get a car!!!!!

My name is Jay Crisp or atleast to you it is Jay.
I am a high school sophomore.
I am curently enrolled at two high school one is a public school and the other is an online class.
I am to be sixteen in only a few short months.
I adore writing.
I hope to put a few short stories of mine up here.
I would love constructive critisism so please do not be shy.
well thats it for now.
BLOG YA LATER
Jay Crisp